Halo
by jayhogartismyangel
Summary: Clare Edwards is slowly breaking. The worst part is...she doesn't know how to stop it.  EClare romance, Misfit friendship. Some Parcy. Calli friendship. Possible Klare friendship
1. Prologue

**Halo**

**Prologue: Don't Let Me Get Me**

**Summary: Clare Edwards is slowly breaking. The worst part is...she doesn't know how to stop it.**

**A/N: These are my thoughts on what's going on with Clare in the Degrassi promo for this fall.**

**Pairings: EClare, Misfit friendship. Clare/Alli friendship. Some Parcy.**

Clare Edwards stared solemnly at her best female friend's retreating back. She couldn't believe it. First Darcy left her for Kenya, then she got an amazing boyfriend in KC Guthrie in grade nine and he ended up leaving her a few weeks later for some blonde girl who was supposed to be her friend. KC had used her to cheat on a test after his girlfriend(the one he'd left her for) convinced him to. Grade ten came around and Alli left her for Jenna and popularity. Her parents were fighting non-stop and it was getting worse and worse. And now, Alli Bhandari was leaving Degrassi

Her boyfriend, Eli Goldsworthy and her friend, Adam Torres seemed to be the best things in her life at the moment. But she'd almost lost Eli a few weeks ago. If Mark Fitzgerald hadn't just been trying to scare him. If he'd really stabbed Eli-Clare would've lost one of the most important people in her life. Eli was the _one_ person she could count on, beyond a shadow of a doubt. She didn't know how she'd have dealt with losing him like that.

Nothing in her life was going the way that it was supposed to. Her parents were supposed to care about her. They were supposed to worry about her and talk to her about her day at school over the dinner table. They weren't supposed to never be home, leaving her in an empty house all alone. When they were home they weren't supposed to be yelling and screaming and throwing things at one another while they ignored their youngest daughter. She just wished they'd stop it. The only time they paid attention to her anymore was when they wanted something from her or were using her against the other parent. She remembered what it used to be like before everything went so wrong. Before Darcy was was raped and before she tried to kill herself because of it. Before KC decided that she wasn't good enough, before her parents started having problems and before Alli left. Before the dance. Before everything. She just wanted something that she could depend on. Something that wouldn't change so quickly on her. She was always there for everyone else, and yet no one seemed to notice how she was slowly breaking apart inside. The worst part was, she didn't know how to stop it. She didn't know how to save herself.

**To be continued: The worst part about watching someone you love break, is not knowing how to fix them.**


	2. Chapter One: Empty Home

**Halo**

**Chapter Two: Empty Home**

Clare sighed as she walked over to her usual lunch table, taking a seat Eli and across from Adam. She knew that she must look a site. She hadn't even gone to the bathroom to fix her makeup after saying goodbye to Alli. She didn't even care about the tear tracks running down her face, anymore.

Eli and Adam stopped eating as they took her in with concerned eyes. Neither one really knew how to help her, especially when they didn't completely understand what was wrong with her in the first place. Clare was like this mystery novel, so tightly closed, not letting out her secrets. Of course, they knew why she did it. She was so used to being there for everyone else, that it had to be hard to ask for help.

Swallowing hard, Eli asked, "You okay, Clare?" He didn't sound like his usual, sarcastic self as he said the words.

Her bright, blue eyes flickered up to look at him and she forced a smile upon her face as she nodded softly. "I'm fine." She spoke in a throaty voice as she stabbed her fork into her salad, not really eating it.

"Today's the day that Alli was supposed to leave, isn't it? My brother told me." Adam said carefully, trying to gauge her reaction.

Clare looked up sharply, glaring at him a little bit. "I don't want to talk about it." She said through gritted teeth.

Adam held up his hands in surrender, showing that he hadn't meant any harm.

She winced. "Look, I'm sorry about snapping like that. It's just...it's hard is all. It feels like everythings changing and I can't control it. I don't like that. Losing one of my best friends doesn't help matters at all." She said apologetically, reaching out to squeeze his hand with her own.

He smiled at her and shook his head. "You don't need to apologize. It's understandable why you are so upset." He reassured her.

Eli meanwhile, sat there silently, looking his girlfriend over. He knew that something was wrong and that it probably had to do with her parents. He was the only person that knew how hard it was at home for Clare at the moment. He, to his knowledge, was the only one that she'd told about their marital problems. He was sure that not even her older sister, Darcy knew otherwise he was sure that she'd be here, helping her sister instead of in Kenya.

It was just like his girlfriend to care and worry about other people more than she did herself. It was a bit of a character flaw, in his opinion. Why was it that his girlfriend didn't let other people help her? It was one thing that he'd never understand about her. Something that frustrated him to no end.

Eli looked up when Clare shot up from her seat with her lunch tray gripped tightly in her hands. "I'm gonna go." She mumbled. "I'm not really hungry and I need to finish a project for Ms. Oh's class." Eli stood up as well and stood infront of her, holding her forearms in a gentle grip so he could look in her eyes. "You're sure that you're okay, right?" He prodded gently.

She smiled up at him, tears glistening softly in her eyes. "I'm fine Eli. You worry to much. I just really need to finish my project." She told him.

"Well Adam and I can come with you. " He said. studying her carefully.

Clare shook her head. "No, you guys don't have to. I'll be fine on my own." And with that, she walked past him, throwing away her leftover food and handing the dishwasher her tray before she was out the cafeteria door.

Eli clenched his fist and turned back to the table, kicking his chair in frustration. "Dammit!" He hissed under his breath, his eyes on fire. "Why won't she just _tell _me what's wrong? I'm her _boyfriend._ She should be able to confide in me."

After school, Clare opened her front door and walked inside hesitantly, stunned by how quiet it was. Usually all she could hear was her parents screaming at one another about one thing or the other. But now it was too quiet. She wasn't accustomed to it. "Mom? Dad? Are you home?" No answer. That was explanation enough. She should've known. They hadn't been home most of the week. Sighing sadly, she walked into the kitchen and saw the note taped to the fridge and the money-a crisp, twenty dollar bill on the counter. Ripping the paper off of the refrigerator, she read:

_Clare, _

_I'm out with a friend tonight and your father has to work late again. Money for food is on the counter. Be back around ten. _

_Love you lots,_

_Mom._

Sighing sadly, she grabbed the money and her bookbag and purse, and hurried out the door.

**Next Chapter: The Dot, Talks with ex's, a change of look, pills, and breakdowns.**


End file.
